I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
