If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
