he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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