we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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