im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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