We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
wow bdsm is so cute
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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