I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
