I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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