There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
