i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize