Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
