Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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