I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
