I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
