listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
