i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just cropdusted the office
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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