You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
