Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
