Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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