Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize