I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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