No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
