So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
