No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You need a sexual gate keeper
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
