So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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