did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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