No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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