So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
