Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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