I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i now understand why vodka
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
