Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
