It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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