Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
