He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
