dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
