Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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