fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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