Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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