Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
