I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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