Fuck appropriateness.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
