I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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