ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
God I need to hump something, right now.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
