over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
