the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
