I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
