the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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