A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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