Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
