I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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