we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
the raccoons are back...
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