The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
