I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
