Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The power of my boobs compel you
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
