Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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