quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
