i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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