If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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