3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
