you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
