Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
