Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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