You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize