i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize