so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
