whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
