My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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