sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
