doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
