the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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