Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
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