I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
