Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
