Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
