Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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