jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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